Nancy Ava Miller, M. Ed.
Founder of PEP—People Exchanging Power
The
PEP Support Group Philosophy
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Nancy Ava Miller,
M. Ed.
Founder
of PEP—People Exchanging Power
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People Exchanging Power (PEP) is a sincere support/discussion/social group for all adults— male, female, married, single, gay, straight, bisexual, transsexual, transvestite—concerned with dominance and submission (D&S) in love relationships. The goals of PEP are to provide support, acceptance, dignity, communion, understanding, and education for its members, and to serve as a liaison between PEP members and the community at large. PEP is also concerned with correcting the erroneous stereotyping connected with D&S, S&M (sadomasochism), and B&D (bondage and discipline). We are not violent, sick, or perverted individuals. Of course, every segment of society can claim its share of the insane and criminals but this is not what D&S is all about, and there is no evidence to hint that there are more evil, violent people among the S&M community than anywhere else in society. S&M is consensual fantasy play involving the roles of dominance and submission. S&M can be very mild, or it can be intense. It is important to note, that “pain” is subjective, and is perceived by S&Mers as pleasure, and sexually titillating. S&M activity is always consensual. Most S&Mers are extremely concerned with safety, and would never transcend the boundaries of their partner(s). Anyone, S&M practitioner or otherwise, who hurts or sexually exploits another person against his/her will is not practicing S&M; that person is a criminal, a batterer, a rapist. The difference is sodomizing a willing lover, or having intercourse with a consenting adult, as opposed to someone forcing sodomy or intercourse on another. The former is acceptable love-play; the latter is rape. S&M is not child abuse, or child molestation. A person who abuses a child is not practicing S&M; that person is also a criminal. We in the S&M community tire of being stereotyped. We are not violent, we are not perverted, we are not evil, we are not insane, we are not rapists, we are not batterers, and we are not child molesters; we are merely concerned with enhancing our sexuality through safe, consensual, loving interplay of dominant and submissive roles. Who are PEP members? Many are well-educated, intelligent, professional people. Some of our members are gay or bisexual. Although there is always a core group of the same faces who attend the general meetings, there is a constant influx of new people looking to explore what PEP has to offer. What happens at a PEP meeting? We begin with a discussion of PEP activities, and general information about the club. Next we have a speaker who delves into a topic relevant to D&S. For instance, we recruited an AIDS Services worker to speak on “Safe S&M Sex”; a local writer/educator conducted a “Sexual Fantasy Creative Writing” workshop; a sex therapist/professor discussed “Relationship Issues for S&M Practitioners”; a lawyer talked about “Sex, S&M, and the Law”; a successful Mistress spoke about “The Phenomenon of the Professional Dominatrix”; another spoke of “S&M As Philosophy”; we have even had a demonstration from a bondage master on safe bondage techniques. After the guest speaker has finished the presentation and entertained comments and questions, we hold a general support group discussion wherein members talk about personal concerns, needs, desires, and/or problems openly and confidentially. PEP meetings are conducted in an intelligent, dignified, informational, educational, and friendly manner. The meetings are led by an educationally qualified person, experienced in group leadership. No sexual activity of any kind occurs at these meetings, and drug usage and heavy drinking are prohibited at any PEP event. PEP usually hosts 2 to 4 parties monthly. PEP urges the more skeptical among society to shed their stereotypical views of S&M/D&S/B&D, and to realize that wrong notions concerning the S&M community are due to lack of knowledge about S&M. Thank you for having the courage to inquire about PEP. Please consider joining us. Love— Nancy, Barry,
Princess Lynne, Mistress Kara, et al.
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